We'll never be those kids again (that's ok)

Seasons, cycles and making peace with the passage of time (+ a Toronto event 📚)

“You ain’t kid no more, we’ll never be those kids again” - Frank Ocean, Ivy

On Seasons and Cycles

How do we mark the changing of seasons? For the past few years, as the warmth of summer slips into the coolness of fall, I’ve marked this shift in a very specific way:

I take the gold and purple woven blanket I’ve had for almost a decade and find a quiet space in a park or a beach on a sunny afternoon, and listen to Frank Ocean’s Blonde album from top to bottom.

In fact, I’m writing this after having done this exact ritual a week ago.

This ‘tradition’ began the year the album came out, 2016. I was in my 20s and trying to parse through feelings of invisibility, longing, nostalgia ultra and uncertainty about the future. The album felt expansive, contemplative and moody in a way that mirrored my emotions and helped mark the transition from the frenetic, carefree energy of summer, to the slow(er) introspection of Fall.

Even the lyrics felt like a signal to seasons of life:

In comes the morning haunting us with the beams
Solstice ain't as far as it used to be
It begins to blur, we get older

Frank Ocean, Skyline To

After an impromptu decision to go the beach last week, I attempted to continue the tradition, and found I simply wasn’t in the mood for the album in the way I wanted to be. I distractedly listen to a few songs, before turning it off and laying under the sun in silence.

I’m a firm believer that everything has a season. Music especially can speak in different ways depending on where we find ourselves in a given moment. There was a bittersweetness in realizing that my long-standing Blonde ritual had finally reached its natural conclusion. Another part of me feels hopeful that I am ending the cycle of something that always felt a bit melancholic at its core.

I’m looking forward to whatever album will define this next season.

What’s On Repeat

I discovered both Lucky Daye and Victoria Monet on the Insecure soundtrack through their duet song, Little More Time. As is the blessing and curse of a platform like Spotify, I came across this song without diving too deep into the artists behind it. Flash forward to 2024, with both singers stepping fully into their artistry. I recently stumbled upon Lucky Daye’s episode of The Terrell Show, and realized he had a new album out (advertising does work!)

I love when you can tell an artist is making a concerted effort to explore a different sonic space, and Lucky Daye’s newest album, Algorithm, features that melodic r&b he’s known for, while also toying with some pop and rock-infused sensibilities. I’ve personally had Pin, Algorithm and Think Different on repeat.

Where Does The Time Go?

“I can't believe its [insert month] already!” is a phrase both:

a. useful as small talk with friends and strangers alike

b. a true reflection on the seemingly express lane passage of time we seem to currently inhabit

Beyond this phrase, I’ve increasingly found myself thinking about time: how we spend it, how we ‘waste it’, how Apple provides a weekly unnecessary drag about the status of my screen time…but I digress.

So many of the conversations around time seem to be around how we need to do *more*, which in some ways still feels like a daunting extension of capitalism. I recently listened to an episode of the podcast Hidden Brain that presented new ways to think about time that can hopefully make us feel less like we’re on a treadmill of catch-up, and more honest about how we can exist in time in ways that feel honest and nourishing.

You can find the full episode and transcript here.

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Other Stuff

Toronto homies: I am hosting a lil B-Y-OBook club meetup called Lit(erary)Libations at Now & Later on Bloor St W on Tuesday October 8!

It’s free! Come meet fellow readers and bring a book you’ve:

• Been meaning to finish

• Meant to start but never did

• Are in the midst of reading it

• Always wanted to talk to someone about because you love it/find it weird/want others to commiserate with about (if you’ve read a Marlon James book, I feel like this applies…but I may be projecting)

Other Other Stuff:

• My friend sent a me a TikTok about the idea of “thrive cities” - a place you’ve visited or fantasized about that seems more attuned to to your ideal kind of life than you own. What would yours be?

• My friend Helena is hosting a free event for The FlowPrints podcast on Saturday October 5, centered on self-care, spirituality and mental health - get your free tickets here

• Recently I’ve become more attuned to the phases of the moon: at the time of writing this, we (were) under a waxing gibbous moon

• I’ve finally found the wherewithal to watch a dramatic show, and Industry is both stressful and deeply intriguing (I tried with The Bear but the restaurant industry flashbacks were too real)

• The Parkdale Food Bank is looking for contributors to its community cookbook - deadline Nov. 4